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The twelve labors of Hercules.

source: commons

Comments

  1. Christian, in regards to your "The Avenger" story, I thought it was unique and funny, and definitely brought out a whole new side to the fight between Achilles and Hector. The ending, too, was fantastic! The only suggestions I have is possibly going into more depth with Austin's (Achille's) reaction at finding out his best friend died. Would Austin have stayed mostly out of battle if it wasn't for his friend dying? Also, maybe talk about why they decided to have a jump rope competition instead of say -- fighting to the death like in the original. Maybe jump roping is an elite sport and the better jump rope artist from whichever side means that sides stronger? Likewise, I definitely suggest expanding on why Austin didn't kill Jack, despite his best friend being killed. It would make sense for Austin to kill Jack as a result, but maybe there's something else underlying his actions? Of course, these are just suggestions, but I hope to read more of your work soon!

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  2. Hi Christian,

    I think that your header image is really cool and it matches well with the color scheme, which also matches the theme of your storybook perfectly. I am a sucker for coordination if you couldn't tell, haha!

    Right off the bat I noticed you did not have an introduction. I am not sure if it did not publish and it was Google's fault or if you just skipped it over, but maybe consider adding an introduction so the readers have an idea of what your storybook is overall about.

    As far as your first story, "The Avenger," I thought it was very well-written! Your story jumped immediately into action, which was cool for the reader to immediately get engaged. Again, the picture you used on this page matched the color scheme and theme very well and I really appreciate that!

    I am really looking forward to reading more of your stories about Ancient Heroes!

    -Libby

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  3. Hi Christian! Your header really sets the scene for your Ancient Heroes portfolio. I agree with Libby that an introduction to your portfolio would be beneficial. It can be short, but just something explaining what your portfolio is or why you chose this topic would help the reader out a lot.

    Your story, "The Avenger," was great! I really like how you started in media res, and kept going strong with action. I wish you had some more dialogue, just because I always think dialogue enriches the story and allows the reader to connect more with the characters. I do enjoy how you show some of Eli and Jack's thoughts, but more of those would again allow the reader to understand the characters and feel more in tune with the story. Overall, very nice work - I am so excited to read more of your stories going forward in this class!

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  4. Hi Christian!
    I really like your Avenger story! I thought it was pretty creative! I really like the modern name change, one of my closest friends is named Austin so it gave me a funny perspective! I loved the little humorous bits you threw in, like how Austin chased Jack around for thirty before the men gave up and just started the real fight. I couldn’t help but imagine two toddlers running in a circle screaming! There were only a couple of things I wasn’t sure about! First, I wasn’t quite sure what time period you were aiming for so for the first half of the story I was imagining they were back in time in ancient Greece, and then the mention of Disney World kind of threw me off. So were they in ancient Greece but there was a Disney World there to mix up the times? Or was it more of a modern-day setting? But anyway great job!

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  5. Hi Christian,

    Your story, "There and Back Again," was very good! I love the picture you used in your banner. It looks so peaceful and I am a sucker for landscape photos, especially ones of Hawaii!

    Right off the bat, you caught my attention and I was hooked (pun intended). I got major Outer Banks vibes from the sailor trying to find his father. Great introductory paragraph to the story!

    Your descriptions of all of the sights, sounds, and feelings are really captivating in the second paragraph. I love zooming in on a moment and making the reader fell part of the story, too!

    I absolutely love how you ended the story with a cliffhanger! It really makes me want to come back for more! I also got some Hunger Games vibes in the last paragraph a little bit, too, so I love where you are going with all of this.

    I am looking forward to reading more of your stories!

    -Libby

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  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    Replies
    1. Hello,
      I think I accidentally deleted my comment, so here goes again. I like the design and the header choices for your stories. I really enjoyed how your story begins with action. That is one of the best ways to grab a reader's attention. Also, in the same vein, the stories are a little confusing as to where we are what is happening. An introduction to the world and what is happening might help. Think of what is placed on the back of a book. Your story would benefit if you follow to technique a lot of writers use Show Don't Tell. There are a lot of places in both of the stories where you could have described the scene more in-depth or go into how the character sees things rather than give an information dump. It's hard to tell how the main character is, and I believe that would also improve your work. That helps the reader connect with and see the world through. Again, the stories were great!

      I can't wait for the rest of what you write.

      Delete

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