Microfiction: Two Short Odyssey stories
Austin was taken aback initially by Polyphemus. He had never seen a cyclops before until him and his men had been ship-wrecked on this God-forsaken island. The cyclops had already eaten six of Austin's best men. He knew that if he was complacent any longer, they would all be goners. Summoning his remaining courage, Austin called out to Polyphemus as he rolled back the stone to come into the cave for the day, "hey man, would you wanna have a guitar battle sometime?" As the cyclops turned to Austin, Austin's men gorged its eye out with a cyclops' sized guitar.
"Polyphemus, who has hurt you so?" Polyphemus screamed back in anguish, "JOOO, it was Nobody!"
Author's Note: The original story from which I based these microfictions off of is called "The Cyclops Defeated." In that story, Odysseus tricks the cyclops after him and his men are trapped in his cave. Odysseus and his men eventually escape by gouging the cyclops' eye, but first Odysseus told him that his name was Nobody. This way, when the cyclops cried out for help it would sound as if no one had hurt him. This worked like a charm for Odysseus and his men. I decided to rewrite my story as Austin as the main character. I shortened the first story into 100 words, and had the men use a guitar instead to poke the cyclops' eye. I just did this because I love playing guitar and it seems funny to imagine Polyphemus jamming with his six string. The second story sort of coincides with the first. This one is a two sentence story that depicts Polyphemus after he has been hurt. It shows how he has been tricked into not getting help for himself.
Bibliography: The Cyclops Defeated from Homer's Odyssey translated by Tony Kline.
Polyphemus is attacked by mortal men!
source: commons
Hi Christian! I like your addition of a guitar battle to distract Polyphemus and in order to save his team. I also like that the tone is very casual but also a mix of a more formal tone in your story with the addition of "hey man" but also more "formal" words like "anguish." The ending of this story is so funny, that he said his name was nobody. Austin is a very modern name in comparison to Polyphemus, so I like that you overall gave your story a modern twist. Did you consider altering Polyphemus's name as well? I was confused by Austin's " best men." What is Austin's position in this story, and what are these men doing? Why are the cyclops eating his men? Why are his men even encountering cyclops? Who is Polyphemus? I think you should add a little more of a backstory on both Austin and Polyphemus.
ReplyDeleteHey Christian. This is a fun and enjoyable retelling/microfiction of a story from the Odyssey. I enjoyed how it is almost a humorous take on this story. I agree with Sana on the ending of the story ... "JOOOOO" made me laugh. I wish there was more explanation of the backstory. I know it is hard in a microfiction with a word count, but it was kind of confusing to just begin with "Austin was taken aback ..." It is kind of a twist that you changed the main character's name but kept Polyphemus' name the same. If you wanted to make the whole microfiction modern, you could change some of the other names in the story. You use some good details, especially at the beginning with the "ship-wreck on this God-forsaken island." I would just try to add some more details at the end and keep your ending as strong as your beginning!
ReplyDeleteHi Christian!
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that you were able to minimalize this story down into one hundred words. It's a nice touch to have the cyclops' eyes gouged out by a guitar as well. I like it. It would be interesting if you could modernize this story even more and really challenge yourself to include as much description in those one hundred words as possible. Good job!