Week 5 Story: Two Brothers

 Once upon a time there were two brothers.  They would work hard together during the days and shared a room to sleep in during the nights.  They lived in a small house just outside of a small village.  They didn't earn much, but it was honest work.  They had come to rely on one another and trust each other tremendously.  After all, they were all each other had.  One day, the older brother fell in love with a local village girl.  They were wed soon after.  After the bride moved into their small house, the atmosphere in the house was different.  Eventually, the wife came onto the younger brother.  Furious, the younger brother stormed out.  

That night, the wife lied to the older brother, telling him that the younger brother had intended to kiss her, and attacked her when she didn't comply.  The older brother saw right through this.  After hearing the truth from his younger brother, the older brother divorced his wife.  The brothers became closer as they spent their days and nights together.  They started to become strong and sturdy from their work, and the younger brother was becoming a brilliant horseback rider.  After acquiring a horse, the brothers began traveling to local jousting tournaments.  After a slow start, the team began to secure victories.  Winning a tournament would pay for their travel to the next tournament.  As they started making a bigger name for themselves, they were becoming wealthier.  

One day, the younger brother fell in love with a maiden while at a championship tournament.  Unbeknownst to him, she was a princess and soon to be queen of the kingdom.  The younger brother won this tournament, and earned the approval of the royal court.  His reputation has grown so much that swarms of crowds would stand up outside the stadium after the seats had filled up just to watch him ride and joust.  He was able to elevate this sport to the next level, becoming an iconic sensation along with his teammate brother.  Eventually, the younger brother married the maiden and became a beloved king.  He appointed his older brother as his most trusted advisor.  Their reign was a prosperous and fruitful one, and they lived happily ever after.  This is the story of how two brothers from the country came to the big kingdom, and made the big kingdom special.  


Bibliography: The Two Brothers by Donald Mackenzie from Egyptian Myth and Legend 

Author's note: The original story was called The Two Brothers and it is an ancient Egyptian legend.  In the original story, Anpu is the older brother and his brother Bata works for Anpu.  Anpu and his wife take care of Bata like he was their son.  One day the wife comes onto Bata, and then lies saying that Bata came onto her when talking to Anpu.  Anpu, intending to kill Bata, sees the truth after speaking to Bata.  Bata falls in love and moves away, though his wife is stolen by a king. Anpu was able to revive Bata after finding him dead.  Bata becomes a bull and rides to the kingdom to find his girl.  Bata, after becoming heir to the throne, becomes king.  Anpu is named as his heir.  I based my story off of these two brothers.  I included them being close, and I included their love interests.  I also included the older brother's wife going for the younger brother.  However, after this part in my story I start to go a little more "A Knight's Tale." I saw that not too long ago so I think I was thinking of it.  But it was fun to have these blue collared field workers become successful knights and then a king and advisor.  The last line was inspired by a line in the Michael Jordan documentary, "The Last Dance."

A piece of art called "The Knights Tale."
source: commons


Comments

  1. I loved that you turned the story of Bata and Anpu into a medieval tale. I can also appreciate the emphasis you put on the brotherly bond the two of them had. Even going as far as Bata making Anpu his trusted advisor when crowned king. One thing I am curious about is whether you aimed to also show this in how Anpu receives his wife's confession. I know in the original story Anpu goes after Bata with the intention of killing him, suggesting he believed his wife lie over his brother's character? If so, that was a great was to portray the brotherhood between the two characters. An idea I have would be to continue with this story for a possible microfiction. This way maybe you could write about the journey of Bata and Anpu to save Bata's wife from the King. This would not only be great extra credit but it would be nice to hear more about the brother. Did they face any stressors to their relationship throughout the journey? Overall, awesome retelling! I hope to read more from you soon.

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  2. Hi Christian,
    This was an interesting story! I was really gripped by the character of the older brother's wife and her audacity! One thing that could make this story even more interesting would be to portray the struggle between the older brother and the younger brother. It would be very cool to read about how the older brother intended to kill the younger brother, but was convinced that he wasn't lying just before he was able to do it. This way, you could analyze how the older brother might be feeling during the moment he is going to kill his brother, how the younger brother reacts to almost being killed, and also the complex dynamic between siblings.
    Excellent job!

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